That One Coin…

Needless to say, it is an often practice for our eyelids to open to an embrace of he pain acquired from the sting of the previous day. The aftermath, in great sedateness we invest time in contemplating on how to treat the scar adopted from the sting. Don’t we all try to dress these wounds? But how are we to feel when these wounds, upon healing, are reopened and re wounded? Isn’t it in such moments that we yearn or insouciance?

In the wake of this queries, we sometimes see it best to create bubbles that provide false protection. Furthermore, we lock out logic and embrace dark parables that, in our minds, consoles us momently. Consequently, we compel ourselves to believe that towards us, no one knows understanding. This though births the belief that only our hands, hearts and minds know what is best for us. The end result of this road results in non-existent personalities having a place within us. Genius eyy?

I dare ask, what good lies in racing away from reality? Much an effort it is comparable to chasing the wind. Positioning ourselves out of the realm of reality turns us into our own creators, our own god. Extreme? Think through it though. God gives and takes life. A just judge He is. A designer of the paths that our feet trod on daily. All knowing and unfathomable. Indescribable is His nature, the universe revolves around him. Upon succumbing to depression and psychological pain, don’t we declare ourselves unfathomable- ‘no one understands me’. Aren’t we calling ourselves all knowing with the notion that no one else but ourselves know whats best for us? We want everything to go our way, failure to which, we make reference to ourselves with the title ‘rejects’. Isn’t that wanting the world or rather the universe to revolve around us? Thats a direct call for us to be the center of the earth. Do you remember? When the scientists discovered the earth’s center our names weren’t mentioned. What about when we decide that we have had enough and want to end our lives? Aren’t we turning ourselves into judges?

Nevertheless, let it be known that for every side of the coin, there is an opposite side waiting. No one handles a coin and experiences one side only. In perspective, for every bit of sorrow there is corresponding joy. For every ounce of pain, pleasure pays back. For every shed tear, there is a retribution by laughter. For every second in bondage, freedom will come to counter. The bridge between the two sides is time. Literally, when you flip a coin, it takes a couple of seconds(time) to settle either on either the same side or a different side.

Why does sorrow seem unending to me yet the coin has two sides? Well, by laws of probability, when you flip a coin there is a probability that the sides will change or remain the same. No matter how many times in a continuous streak the coin lands on the same side, at some point it will give. For lovers of sports- it took 21 years of The Undertaker winning before he could lose his first match at Wrestlmania. That means for one to experience a different side of a coin a certain virtue must come to play, patience.

What if impatience is my name? What if I want this to be the end? Well, the choice is yours. Ponder over this, when alive, you have the choice of living or taking your own life. However, in death, no option is offered. What becomes of you if upon ‘ending this’ you find that the darkness you so desired is not endurable? Many desire the gates of no return yet no one alive knows its face. Isn’t it better to stay with the devil you know?

All this boils down to the fact that, at birth, life presents a coin. This coin is not in our control. This coin will be tossed left right, centre and God knows where else. This has a direct implication that whether good or bad, circumstances are bound to change. Life, as a coin, in itself is hope. And for us in depression and pain-yes there is a flip side to our coin. It may last for decades. But everything that starts, must and will come to an end.